Where I’m At

by David on March 13, 2010

Just a quick note to keep you posted on where I’m at.

My last update, the Milford Track, took place at the end of January.

Brimming with gratitude and love for life, I met my mother in Queenstown February 1. She was due to fly out of Auckland February 21st, so we spend the next three weeks traveling through the country, back up to the big city.

We had a great time and it was so good to see her.

Sometime around the middle of the month, a big black cloud descended on me. With my budget running on fumes, and my mother’s visit coming to an end, I knew that soon I would need to find some income. I was overwhelmed by the feeling that my fascinating, life-changing, liberating, four-month expedition — one of the greatest experiences I’ve ever had — was over. It was like I could feel my heart grinding to a halt.

I became irritable and ungrateful, and descended into a nasty funk. Job searching is a trying experience at the best of times for me, and this was definitely not the best of times. All thoughts of possibility and curiosity evaporated. It was around this time I discovered I am much more of a pessimist than an optimist.

So I spent a week getting organized, because I figured clarity would lead to ease. I wanted to go about the job search from a place of clarity and confidence.

Well I did achieve clarity, in terms of having all of my affairs in order. Written down, planned, accounted for. I had never been so organized. But I did not achieve confidence. Not at all.

I didn’t want to do it. Everything felt all wrong. I tried to work up confidence and intention every morning, but I ended up doing anything but actually contacting employers. Time and money ticked by, with nothing giving.

A few days ago, I decided to forget the idea of finding surveying work in Auckland. I couldn’t see it happening. I wouldn’t let it happen.

Maybe it was some intuitive resistance, maybe it was just my crippling allergy to job-searching, but I decided to try something else.

So I’m skipping town. I will go to the Bay of Plenty and join the legions of seasonal workers in the kiwifruit industry. I booked a bus and a bed and tomorrow morning I hit the road.

It feels good to get outta Dodge. I was rotting here in Auckland.

I’ll spend three months down there doing physical work, replenishing the coffers, then hit the road again. I have covered a lot of ground in New Zealand, but there are a few places I still want to see.

For the first time in a while, I feel relaxed and playful.

I think I’ve also decided just to use this blog as a travel journal, in addition to an occasional photo album, instead of going through the whole song and dance of finding post images and all that. Feels good. Nice and casual.

And now we’re up to date.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Char (PSI Tutor:Mentor) March 13, 2010 at 3:39 pm

Fantastic! Outdoors~ how great. All that wildlife, including the people ~:-) You sound like your in the flow again after some high seas.

I picked beans for a while in the Tablelands, and zucchini. The kookaburras were my alarm clock at 6am (I have not owned an actual watch or clock for over 15 years), pedaled the country roads mooing to cows and dodging quails; would breakfast at a creek and sometimes be blessed to see platypai playing. Hard yakka but so good feeling of centredness. Then home to swim in the freezing river waters next to the caravan park that I stayed at. I bought a tipi with my monies ~:-)

Reply

Lisis March 13, 2010 at 4:30 pm

I love it, D! I think you made an excellent choice, primarily because you seem to feel really good about it. Plus, I love your new, laid back approach to this blog. Your relaxed mood is highly contagious, so thanks for spreading the vibe. :)

Reply

Mom March 13, 2010 at 9:08 pm

What, no David and Isabel’s Excellent Adventure post? :-)

Reply

David March 14, 2010 at 2:37 am

Haha it’s coming. Photos really slow the process. I like just being able to type stuff like this, I’m going to do it more often.

Reply

Kim Lianne March 23, 2010 at 9:10 am

Hi David–
I was glad to get up to date on what’s happening with you lately as I was wondering how the job search was going. That’s exciting news about going ‘kiwi’ with kiwi farming! Physical labour outdoors will indeed do you good. I’m a big fan of immersion in nature for work, play and healing as you know.
Confidence is elusive for most of us at first I think and pessimism is certainly easy to come by if we give in to it. I admit that I’ve been marinating in that too much myself recently…the eternal search for meaningful work that will fit my life continues but the first hints of Spring bring hope for the future.
The annual orchid show at the Conservatory is this weekend (March 26-28) and I thought of you and Isabel. I will be in attendance as usual, soaking up the beauty and intrigue of my favourite flowers.
I hope all goes well for you on the job and in your future travels!
*hug*
KL

Reply

David March 25, 2010 at 5:49 pm

I’ve been working for about ten days now, and while it is hard work I am glad I’m active and earning. I have made friends and now I can plan further travels with enthusiasm.

Enjoy the orchid show and take heaps of pictures. I’ll be in touch soon.

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: